Name calling in Japanese

Japanese will usually call each other by last name unless they are quite close. But, it is common for people to be best friends and still call each other by last names. Most Japanese will tell you when it is ok to call each other by first name. If they give their first name from the beginning then you can use that. There are three main name suffixes; -san, -kun, chan.

San is the general respectful name to call someone by. Despite egalitarian culture in the west it is still the norm in Japan to call an older person by -san, even if they are only a couple of years older. Older people will use what they like to younger people -kun for guys, and -chan for girls is common. However, because the is a little top down in -kun and -chan an older person may use -san if they are being respectful. -kun, and -chan are also more informal and terms of affection so friends will use -kun and -chan.

Parents and siblings also use these terms for each other. Girls will often call each other -chan but with guys they will use -kun and -chan. Chan is often used by both sexes when flirting, or when there is an intimacy with the other person. It is complex learning how to use these so just keep your ear out. Some will use -kun as a term of affection whereas others will use it to put you in your place. Don’t let it get to you, be patient and remember that respect is not in a name, play a long game, act mature, be patient and earn peoples’ respect. One day you will be promoted over that disrespectful person, or others will hold you in such goodwill that that person will have to start treating you with respect too.