How to behave when talking with Japanese people

Although there are Japanese who will speak their mind in any situation, most Japanese don’t like the disharmony of disagreeing too strongly. Westerners often get frustrated because Japanese won’t take a strong or defensible opinion on something. The Japanese, if they disagree strongly on some point, may make some noises but will quickly clam up and agree (or make ambiguous “mmmm” noises) with you if you push your point too hard.

Normal free exchanges of opinion that result in slightly heated conversation are seen as confrontational and most Japanese will try to avoid them. Continue Reading

Inviting guests and being invited

When inviting someone to your house it is customary for you to provide the food and often drinks. If you want to introduce the idea of a pot luck dinner though, that is also fine. If you are visiting someone’s house then it is polite to take a bottle of wine or some desserts or possibly candies to give to them.

Always ask if there is anything you can bring. They will say no but it doesn’t hurt to ask. Continue Reading

Business card etiquette in Japan

There have been many books written on doing business in Japan but here are a couple of basics.

Business cards (Meishi)

Always have name cards on hand, they are very important in Japan. When you meet anyone you will be expected to swap cards. If 20 people from a vendor come to your offices for a meeting they will all want to swap cards with you. Generally when you meet someone you have your card ready to pass in your breast pocket or somewhere else handy. You will introduce yourself ,“I am X”, bow, and then immediately after you have both risen, will swap cards. Continue Reading

Japanese face masks

One thing which surprises most foreigners when they come to Japan is the number of people wearing face masks. Many people wrongly assume they are wearing them to avoid pollution. In fact, they are wearing them to avoid giving people their colds or the other way around (i.e. they don’t want to catch a cold from anyone else).

Due to the swine flu epidemic frenzy and mass media hype, face masks have sold out in many shops around the country and it is now even more common to see people wearing them. Continue Reading

Name calling in Japanese

Japanese will usually call each other by last name unless they are quite close. But, it is common for people to be best friends and still call each other by last names. Most Japanese will tell you when it is ok to call each other by first name. If they give their first name from the beginning then you can use that. There are three main name suffixes; -san, -kun, chan.

San is the general respectful name to call someone by. Despite egalitarian culture in the west it is still the norm in Japan to call an older person by -san, even if they are only a couple of years older. Continue Reading

How to Bow

Bowing is done as a sign of respect when you meet someone in your private or business life. It is a very important custom in Japan and you should make an effort to do it properly. There is nothing worse than seeing a foreigner try and half do a bow by just bending the neck or upper torso.

A proper bow should come from the hips. The back and neck should be straight, eyes down. Hands slide down the side of the thighs for men and can be lightly clasped in front of the lap area for women if they please. Continue Reading

Japanese Gift Giving Customs

Japanese often buy gifts for each other. If you work at a company you are expected to buy some kind of gift when you go away somewhere in your personal time. If you don’t want to do it, then don’t tell people you went away. Generally a box of rice crackers, sweets, or whatever the local delicacy is will do. Buy something small that people can share. People actually remember when you do this as it shows consideration of your group/ company team. It is a nice gesture so maybe do it from time to time.

You don’t need to buy for the whole company, just the people in your immediate vicinity or your team. There are other times of year such as Chugen and Oseibo when gift giving happens. Continue Reading

Shoe Etiquette in Japan

The general rule is to leave your shoes at the door. In most houses there is a recessed area in the entrance before you take a step up to the house proper, or at least a threshold line. This is where you take off and leave your shoes. If possible don’t sit and take them off. Take them off standing and then leave them neatly lined up with toes pointing towards the door so they are easy to put back on when you leave (and they don’t get in the way of other people coming and going).

The rule is that if you visit anyone’s house you take off your shoes. Continue Reading

In Japan, Onsens are very popular and it pays to know how to conduct yourself inside. Firstly, most onsens are meant to be entered naked. I have heard stories of some foreigners going into public baths in their swimsuits. From a Japanese perspective this is extremely rude, a total affront to the way an onsen is supposed to be. Also, the onsen owners do not like dyed materials in their water.

Generally you don’t even take colored towels into the onsen with you; just the little white onsen towels that you get. Continue Reading

Using  Chopsticks
You don’t have to eat with chopsticks but everyone does, so why don’t you? Chopsticks are by far the best implement for getting around the bones when eating fish. There are a couple of things you should know when using chopsticks.

Generally you shouldn’t rub them together to smooth them off, it’s considered rude. Never leave your chopsticks in a bowl or stab your chopsticks in rice and leave them standing up. This has some similarities to proceedings in a Japanese funeral and is considered highly disrespectful (they pick up the bones with chopsticks).  Continue Reading